This is Bob, the Sexually Suggestive Wooden Massage Implement. In the coming months, Bob will be campaigning in various ways to help raise awareness about the addictive nature of church, and the healing power of parody and porn.

Why did we choose Bob? Well, it's difficult to say what finally decided it. Bob has a certain je ne sais quoi about him that just screamed exexExChurch to us. Perhaps it was his bubbly personality. Perhaps it was the flowing, pure lines of his form. Perhaps it was his encyclopaedic knowledge of the capitals of Eastern Europe that tipped the scales in his favour. Or maybe it was simply the fact that he provided muscular relief after a long hard day creating this site. Who knows?

The important thing is that Bob is our new mascot, and he's a fine embodiment of all the values this site promotes.

Right now we're holding auditions for TV evangelists. We'd like to collaborate with one on a commercial featuring Bob, and then we'd like to crow about how we've converted a dyed-in-the-wool churchyboy to our side of the argument.